Adios Amigos (Pt.2)

We had a few days at the end of Guatemala/beginning of Vietnam to rest and debrief the last two months of ministry. Someone asked me during that time if I’m a “processor” or if I like to take time to debrief what we did. I had to think about it for a little bit, especially cause I’ve always had something against the word “processing”, but I realized that debrief for me, if used well, is really what would have the lasting impact on my life. It’s one thing to live through really cool experiences, see the world, meet and serve all sorts of people… it’s another thing entirely to have that change the way you live. It’s easy to coast through life and take things as they come, but it takes a lot more effort and intentionality to watch and to learn from the things you encounter. I say all that first of all as a setting for this post, but second of all as an encouragement to you, in whatever situation God may have you in, to watch and to pray, and to ask the Lord what He might want you to learn from it.

Buckle up, this’ll be a fun ride.

 

A Broken Heart

First of all, one thing that I’ve been praying for even since before the race, is to be able to feel for people on a deeper level, and truly love people – something I found hard for me for a long time. Over the course of our time in Guatemala, I was able to watch Hod answer that prayer before my very eyes.

I could not tell you the number of house visits where I was sitting there listening to their family’s story, and I just started crying (or very close to it). One may say, “Ohhhh you’re just a softie” Maybe so now, and if so, I’ll claim it. But let me tell you, six months ago, no heartbreaking story would’ve broke my heart, but by God’s grace they do now.

I didn’t cry very much as a kid. You know, every now and then, but it was those times were few and far between. As I’ve gotten older though, I’ve started to cry more and more. That seems backwards – it is. As I’ve grown in my relationship with the Lord, it’s been a wonder to see the softening of my own heart and it’s being molded into the shape of God’s. I remember the first time I really wept in the presence of God listening to this song, I remember the first time I really cried reading my Bible (that was on the race actually), and now I’m watching myself start to cry for others, and it’s a wonder. It feels like the charge to weep with those who weep is an attainable thing now.

I’m not going to try to put this into objective terms as a learning experience, but one of the biggest tangible things that I’m taking away from Guatemala is a heart for people and brokenness that I just didn’t have before.

 

Spiritual Warfare

Now I get into a topic that’s been one of the consistently hot topics of conversation – though it’s died down recently – since the beginning of training camp. I don’t think I’ve really talked about it much yet, mostly because it was all new to me and I was still figuring it out, but I’ve seen it in action now, and it’s crazy.

 

In the House Visits

I saw it first and most obviously in some of the house visits we did. This one time we were talking to this sickly woman who was sitting on a chair in the middle of her house, and the whole time she was talking, there seemed something just a little off in her face and in her shoulders. I’m definitely not one to assume spiritual causes behind sicknesses or anything, but the whole time she was talking, it was as if something else had some control over the muscles in her face and shoulders and I couldn’t get the possibility off my mind. She’s talked about how she’d been sick for six months, and only recently had found the strength to get up out of bed. She talked about how her dogs got sick at the same time she did, how they talk to her and call her “mama”, and every time they jump up into her lap, they started crying. She also talked about how she has had a lot of Catholics and Christians come and pray over her, and one time this Christian lady came and prayed over her, and as soon as she said “Amen”, two of her dogs fell over dead. There was the confirmation I needed. To add on to it, I found out from the OneWay girl who had been translating the whole thing, that she had barely been able to understand a lot of it because the lady’s words were jumbled and didn’t come out quite right – which would probably make sense if there really was something acting up inside of her.

This other time we were visiting a family, and we were talking to this grandma about her 4-year-old granddaughter. She talked about how she would randomly get very sick every couple of weeks, sometimes she would run around the house screaming for no apparent reason, and the week prior had had a seizure out of the blue. I’m hearing all this and I’m like oh wow, we should pray for her. But it gets to the end of the conversation and I hadn’t spoken up, but we gather around the family to pray like we usually do before leaving, and I knelt down next to the girl and was just praying over her. I was praying out loud in a low voice, and a few seconds in to the prayer I open my eyes and she’s is staring right back at me seemingly into my soul. I keep praying and she won’t break eye contact or even blink. Then I’m silent for a second, close my eyes, open again and she has looked away, but as soon as I start talking again, there she is again, staring right back at me. It was one of the wierdest and kinda freaky moments of my life, but there was something there that simply wasn’t natural.

Those were the first two house visits were the reality of demonic influence and oppression was so evident. Man I had so many conversations with people about these though, cause it really was just eye-opening and crazy to me. It grieved me as well though, especially thinking about that little girl and all she’s dealing with so young. Some people choose into that demonic stuff, she didn’t, but yet has to suffer the consequences of someone else putting that on her.

 

Locational Spiritual Warfare

The other place I’ve seen spiritual warfare has been attack on me – this one is interesting g and still confuses me a bit, sooooo yeah.

Basically, throughout our ministry in Guatemala, every time I would get of the bus in San Lorenzo, I would get super tired, lose all my energy and patience, and be so demotivated for the rest of the day there. I tried everything I could to try to stop it – I got extra sleep, I ate well, I stopped drinking coffee… nothing worked. The other thing I noticed was that whenever I went to Palima, our other ministry location, that didn’t happen. I also seemed to be the only one on my team feeling this to such a great extent. After thinking about it and praying through it though, I realized that this too, must be some sort of spiritual attack. Once I realized that I was like, oh wait, I can pray against that. Unfortunately it took me until the last week and a half/two weeks of Guatemala to figure this out, because once I started taking the bus ride there to pray over the day and against this weariness, it got a lot better. Not quite 100% better, but it improved noticeably, which was pretty encouraging.

The location thing though still blows my mind. I’ll restrain myself from going too deep into it all cause I could probably write a whole book on it by now, but the first time I heard that demons, in some mystical way, occupy physical locations, I was like woahhhh now slow down. But if you think about it, it actually makes so much sense, and gives God’s omnipresence and new meaning. Demons and angels and the devil can only be in one place at one time. God is everywhere.

That’s all I’ll say about that now… maybe I’ll come back to it later on down the road because there’s so much more I could talk about that would just take up more of your time, so I’ll leave it off there and say goodbye until my first Vietnam post.

Guatemala was truly an amazing first country though – mostly chill, structured, not too far from home, squad-oriented, and experiential, and I’m glad I was able to share a lot of it with y’all through the blog. Now vamanos, on to Asia.

 

In Christ,

Jackson

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